Happy Halloween!

Halloween used to be one of my favorite holidays.  Until last year, I always dressed in costume at work.  If Halloween was on a work day, that's the day I would dress up.  If Halloween was on the weekend, then I would dress up on Friday.  But last year, it seemed like the fun was blown out of my sails.

My husband had spent the summer doing chemo and radiation for his Stage IIIa non-small cell lung cancer.  At the end of August, 2009, we took off for "out west" wondering if it was our last big trip.  We didn't know then (and we still don't know) what to expect.  The word cancer still scares the bejesus out of me.  It's about the unknown, the waiting, the trepidation, the fear, the anxiety.  His cancer is in remission right now, but he still has to have CT scans and follow ups every 3 months.  We just got results this week and he's still in remission.  No new cancers. That's good news and we celebrated by making a big batch of Paula Deen's mac and cheese.

But still my joy comes and goes.  Halloween used to be the one day when I could still be a kid - pretend, make believe and play dress up.  I just can't get into the swing of it again this year.  I did buy a pumpkin ... a small white one.  Instead of carving it, I took his drill motor to it and made a face on each side.

I've been burning a candle in it every night.  The pumpkin goes into the refrigerator before going to bed and I've managed to use it for 2 weeks now.  The candle makes me hopeful.  And I guess that's all I need right now.

Happy Halloween, watch out for the goblins and don't eat too much candy.  As for me, I'm going to eat a bit of candy with a large cup of coffee.  Chocolate and coffee go together, right?